Monday, August 23, 2010

Tome of Tomes

Personally, this is my favorite tome in the collection so far. Funny, bawdy, silly, and well, very real seeming.

Beardless Ladies
Author: Durin Axehand
Race: Dwarf
Dimensions:  8x8x1
Weight: 4 lbs.
Materials: Leather-bound, stoneboard, parchment
Rarity: Very Rare
Fields of Study: Demi-humankind
Special Knowledge Categories: Art & music, psychology
Value: 65 gp

This naughty little work has been the focus of many underground book-burnings, but it always seems to be found in the most extraordinary of places. Each of the 100 pages features a fully nude female dwarf: beardless even. Underneath the illustration is a short biography of the woman and of her likes and dislikes.

The author, a dwarf named Durin Axehand, has passed into dwarfish colloquial speech for any type of creature that seems a bit too focused on sexual matters. “He’s entering his Axehand years” is a phrase commonly applied to young dwarven males.

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