If had to find the single most important difference between old-school and new-school I'd go with : the game is playing, not playing with this character.
The assumption of a player having a stake in a game that is tied to a character, as opposed to the role of playing a character, seems a tremendous conceptual split between old and new.
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That sounds like a reasonable way to distingush the two approaches. That means, strangely, that I've been playing "new school" since the very first campaign I played in [waaaaay back in 1983 or so]... and that despite my bent toward Roleplaying, the game I've written most for over the past year has been about as purely "old school" as a game can get, I think. Although I suppose "old school" also embodies a certain amount of tactical thinking? That game doesn't do that... it's really just a framework within which to roll dice and beat up each other's characters.
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